Revelations While Quarantined

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My year of celebrating turning a half century started five months ago in Mexico City. It was supposed to be my first of several trips planned for 2020. In January, MLK weekend would be my first trip to Philadelphia (to do something different). In February, I made my annual pilgrimage to Fort Lauderdale. 

But I had no idea that COVID-19 would take a battleax to the rest of my travel plans for the year, including my first trip to Puerto Vallarta; another Fort Lauderdale trip to celebrate my birthday and experience the inaugural Pride of the Americas; and trips to New York City for two different birthday celebrations for friends. Oh, and those plans for the big b-day trip to New Zealand and Fiji in December? Yeah, nope.  

It was a bummer, but cancelled travel plans are trivial in comparison to the lives lost to the norovirus. Like thousands of other people, I knew people who had it, recovered, and some who weren’t as lucky. It was a combination Coronavirus, its effect on friends, and turning 50 that made this all a sobering experience. Life as we all knew it had come to an abrupt halt. However, I was determined to stay positive and use the time, while social-distancing, to appreciate what really matters most – family, friends and positive vibes when the future looks ominous. 

Milford Sound, New Zealand

Reconnect with People Who Matter the Most
If there’s anything we will learn from social distancing and a few months of self-isolation, it’s understanding the importance of our relationships with family and friends. Oddly enough, I was able to spend time with my extended family in March because my aunt passed away from cancer. It’s surreal to think that was the last time I was able to comfort, hug and shake hands with relatives – all behaviors not allowed if we want to keep those close to us safe. 

And it was only two weeks later, Mayor Bowser would lockdown Washington, DC to quell the surging number of COVID-19 cases and deaths. It’s at this point I really started to appreciate my family and friends. And I’m not talking about those fair-weather friends, but the ride-or-die or ones who text or call you because they’re genuinely concerned about you. Yep, even that old be from around the way. It’s rare moments like these that reemphasized the importance of true friendship. And over the past few months, I’ve learned to invest in friendships only when I know the time and energy is reciprocated.  

Coronavirus has definitely made us stay connected with our loved ones. We’ve learn to use technology to stay in touch with family and friends. For me, it’s a family chat every Sunday via FB messenger video chat, and a virtual happy hour (sometimes longer) with good friends on Wednesdays. It’s almost like we’re learning to reconnect with each other on the most basic level – simple communication.

Let’s keep it 100, no amount of video chats via Skype or Zoom will ever fill the void of that emotional, in-person contact with a family member or a good friend.  But for now, take advantage of those calls, texts and video chats with your loved ones to really express how much they mean to you. If there’s one message that ‘Rona has taught us – it’s that tomorrow is never promised. Live in those moments when you talk about seeing each other again. Make plans for that next group vacation or family gathering. It’s the anticipation of seeing each other that really keeps you motivated to stay positive during what may seem like dire circumstances. 

Remember to celebrate life’s milestones.

Keep Your Dreams Alive
So, remember when I was talking about how COVID-19 threw a wrench in my plans? Well, I’m sure 2020 graduates, couples with wedding plans, and others who missed those milestone celebrations are just as frustrated from this expected turn over the past few months and presumably for the entire year. But instead of dwelling on what didn’t happen… think positive! You did graduate from high school or college. And if you survive the quarantine with your fiancé or fiancée, your “happily ever after” will still happen. Shift your plans for wedding or that milestone celebration when you are able to finally spend it with the people who mean the most to you. For those who just can’t wait, there’s plenty of Insta-inspiration out there, including drive-by birthday celebrations and nuptials incorporating social-distancing. 

And even in my case… It’s likely I won’t make it to New Zealand and Fiji in December, but I’m keeping my hope for my birthday dream trip alive by doing some in-depth reading about both places. Yeah, it’s not the same as an in-person visit, but it definitely motivates me to go and immerse myself in an authentic Maori experience and Kiwi culture, which as I understand has become one in the same. Will it happen this year? No, probably not, but it will happen. Dreaming about New Zealand and Fiji help me remain positive for the future.

Spend the Time to Rediscover You
This time in our lives shouldn’t be looked at as self-isolation hell. Well, it doesn’t have to be. Take this time to really focus on the things that make your happy.  I was one of millions of people who were furloughed or lost their job, but to persevere, you have to be positive. And support from family and friends can make all the difference in the world during this stressful and unpredictable time. We’ve seen and heard the popular phrase, “We’re in this together.” Guess what? We are! But don’t look at this time to sit still and be complacent. Be proactive and set new goals for what you want in life to be post-Coronavirus and self-isolation. Dealing with a pandemic has a way of shifting your priorities, even if it’s spending more time on a hobby that you enjoy.  

Create your own happiness by being your unfiltered best.

For me, a casual question posed to a friend led to a month of redesigning my personal website to not only push my professional skills and career accomplishments, but to also get closer to claim a grab those opportunities that were meant for me. And putting my best digital foot forward is just one way of doing that – thanks to my awesome friend-designer. Yes, I could be called back to work at my “current” job, but I’ve also want to prepare for the worst-case scenario because life, as you already know, can be unpredictable. 

So, why not take this time to best person you can be, personally and professionally? We’ve all had bad experiences in both, but that should never stop you from being the best person you can be. Now I question everything, and I’m open to new possibilities. I am open to living abroad or outside of the United States? Yes! Am I open a relationship at 50 years young? Yes! Am I ready to fight for the professional career that I deserve? Hell, yes! It’s long overdue, but it’s time to stop settling and fight for what you and I want our lives to be. 

It’s sad that it took a lockdown, self-isolation and a 50th birthday to get me to this place. But one thing I do know, as cliché as it sounds, I’m determined to live my best life. We are responsible for our own happiness. And it’s my hope that post COVID-19, we love harder, dream bigger and be bolder about the lives we deserve for 2020 and beyond.